After an Affair

Infidelity Hijacked our Relationship: What Now?

To the Hurt Partner: Since you discoverd your partner has been unfaithful your life may feel out of control. Your mind is swirling with unwanted thoughts and emotions you never dreamed you could have. You are exhausted by sleepless nights and what feels like thousands of unanswered questions have hijacked your mind:

  • How do I know the affair is over?
  • Who is this person I committed my life to?
  • Who am I?
  • There must be something wrong with me or this would not have happened.
  • Will I ever be able to trust again?
  • Can we ever repair?

To the Betrayer:  If you are attempting to repair your relationship, you may find yourself struggling with your own unanswered questions:

  • I told my partner everything, why do I keep being questioned?
  • Why doesn’t my partner believe the affair is over?
  • I said I am sorry, what more do you want from me?
  • I admitted to the affair, isn’t that enough?
  • How can I prove my love to my partner?
  • Can’t we just move on?

Do I Stay or Go?

After an affair has been discovered there are so many questions and so much pain that it can be difficult to know what to do. There are important decisions to make and these will affect the rest of your lives; and if you have children it will affect theirs too.
Determination counseling can help you with that decision. Healing is important whether you stay together or move on as individuals and I can assist you with that process.

Moving beyond the pain

Healing from the pain of an affair takes commitment and time. If you have decided to stay together, you are in the right place. There are stages to healing from the affair  and research has shown that a couple must work through each of these stages to repair and heal. Therefore, it is important that you choose a therapist that has the training and experience to assist you in the healing process. Furthermore, many couples have  found strength, commitment, and satisfaction in their relationship, some stated that they have connected in a way they never believed was possible even prior to the betrayal. 

My expertise in working exclusively with couples, and my Certification in Treating Trauma and Affairs, with Drs John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute can aide you in this healing process.

You Deserve to Feel Better ~ To Learn How:  
Schedule a 30-minute free consultation: 503 427-1875  

Or use the form on this page. 

“Love is the strangest of forces— able to bring joy even out of tragedy.” Stuart and Linda Macfarlane

 

J.ilana Bradford, MA, LMFT intern, NCC

Oregon Board of Licensed Professional
Counselors & Therapists R3341

Westlake Counseling
14523 Westlake Drive Suite 12
Lake Oswego, OR 97035

ilana@westlakecounselinglakeoswego.com
503-427-1875

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